Im 21 dating a 34 year old, join our newsletter
It's hard to think about because I know he wasn't manipulating me "on purpose," but something in the very fact that he chose to date me at all, he saw how malleable I was and still went ahead with it Apparently now you're both not confident enough to have your relationship.
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It would also make you incredibly complicated at best for an ethically minded middle aged person to date. As the more experienced party it is not surprising that he is more alert to those.
Why did I engage with those people? Suddenly flipflopping from hot to cold looks like a convenient seduction technique he can use to keep you on the hook while preventing you from colliding with his other girlfriend or whoever else it is he's working on right now.
Straight Dope Message Board Join us now! I hope I was!! Find all posts by Koxinga.
HE is the one who makes it seem like that's what he wants. The Zen Arcade Posts: Women in particular are generally socialized to not trust their instincts, to devalue them, and to consider them irrational. Later that summer, I accepted a date with a guy who I pegged to be about 25, maybe. It will just keep the two of you in a space where the relationship is an enticing possibility, not a reality you're exploring and then choosing to continue or sever.
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It never worked-and as many before have said I now with the advantage of hindsight I feel that I was taken advantage of. But he's 34 and if he can't get it together at that age then I don't think you want to mess around with him.
This kind of thing can make a relationship seem a lot more interesting than it is. But like the others, I wouldn't suggest getting involved with this man again.
Not everyone in life is im 21 dating a 34 year old to say what you want to hear I didn't care what anybody else thought, and neither did she. Call him out on this stuff.
I don't think this guy necessarily has to be the huge manipulator and a Bad Person, as some commenters suggest, but might just be really torn in the way he describes. If he can't enthusiastically get his head around dating you for whatever the reason, you deserve better. If nothing else, there was a lot of competition between me and other women they were potentially also seeing.
In contrast, he is very much not and has had lots of sexual relationships both casually and in long term relationships his last one was 4 truckers dating sites broke up bc he did not feel comfortable with marrying her.
AND don't tell men this, but we women mature way faster than they do and for us to date a guy our age will end up turning into babysitting in the long run case in point - my ex. Also, from the perspective of someone closer to his age, I can not see someone in their mid-thirties having this emotional relationship with a woman that involves nothing physical for almost a year, when they are used to physical relationships, without them seeing someone else on the side - unless there is some sort of health or emotional problem he is hiding from you.
If he was extremely inexperienced in relationships himself this would be a little easier since you'd be thinking about these things together. Or don't, I mean, it's not the end of the world to have a little heartache, but still, this is such bad news.
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